


Don't Let It Get To Your Head

by bunnypeaches



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Promises, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23037997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnypeaches/pseuds/bunnypeaches
Summary: Doyoung and Jaehyun has always been the pairing. From their rookie days until now. Jaedo or Dojae (whichever floats your boat) are what fans of this pairing calls them. Doyoung and Jaehyun are both equally grateful for the other, both has been there for each other through difficult times and also through the highs. But why are their dynamics so drastically different these days?
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 3
Kudos: 68





	1. Foreword:Beginnings Are Always Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came into mind at times when I saw their interactions these days. Please note that this fic is not me making any assumptions and are purely fictional! I love Jaedo so much and all I could think about is them hence this fic is born xD
> 
> This is my first time writing a fanfic and comments will be much appreciated.

“Jaehyun, let’s promise each other that no matter what happens, no matter how successful we become, we mustn’t let fame get to our heads” Doyoung says as he glances at Jaehyun who was lying beside him, eyes mesmerized by the stars beautifully decorating the night sky. Jaehyun looks up and extends his pinky. “Of course hyung. I promise” Jaehyun replied and grins when Doyoung locks his pinky to his to seal their sacred pinky promise.

  
They continue to gaze at the night sky, hands intertwined, eyes closed as they feel the cool wind blows.

  
“I will never let fame destroy what we have hyung. You are and always have been my number one. God knows how much strength you have given me all these time” Jaehyun quietly muttered as he brought their intertwined hands to his chest. He turns his head to his right to see Doyoung with his eyes closed, face so peaceful Jaehyun’s heart feels so warm and fuzzy.

  
It is kinda their thing if fans have noticed. Doyoung always end up sitting on the right of Jaehyun, there are exceptions but it is almost always like this. Jaehyun always told Doyoung that maybe it was because Doyoung was his Mr Right and this usually ends up with a slap to his chest and laughter following after.

"It's us against the world"

"Together?"

"Together"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will try my best to regularly update. I've somehow completed a few chapters and will post the next one soon!


	2. Colours

When you’re in a group, 9 members at that it is normal to have some change in the dynamics in your relationship with each members. We all have different friends that hold keys to different doors in your life. Some holds the key to your heart, some your laughter and mischief and some your rawest form, the real you to the bones.

And that is just what happened to both Doyoung and Jaehyun. They’re not the same Doyoung and Jaehyun who relied and depended a lot on each other when they were emcees on Show Champion nor were they the Doyoung and Jaehyun who were freshly debuted, walking hip to hip and hand in hand. Both have grown prosperously since then leading them to a crossroads where they’re both needed at the other end of the road, opposite of each other.

No longer blueberry and peach, they are their own colours now.

This Doyoung, is not the Kim Doyoung who was light like the rain, carefree and happy. This Doyoung has worries plastered all over his face, eyes heavy and dark. It’s like all the colours of him are flushed out and now he’s just all black and white. Grey

Singing has changed Doyoung’s world for the better but as he grows more and more intense on himself as time pass, it has changed his world for the worse too. He’s more critical of himself, worries and anxiety through the roof as to how he wants to present his voice to the fans, to the world. Ironic how the one thing you are most passionate about could put a gun to your head and he pulled the trigger to the gun that he didn’t realize was pointed at him.

Being himself, he kept it all to himself. He wants to fight his own battles because he believes he is his own hero no matter how difficult it is. The last thing he wants is to suck the members into the whirlpool of his heavy and dark thoughts so he closed all the barriers to the deepest part of himself. Including _him_.

Jaehyun finds himself reminiscing about them at times. The duo is what the members call them and they did everything together and Jaehyun is very very grateful to especially Doyoung for all the times he has taken care of him, guiding him and most importantly for always being there for him no matter what the world is going through, no matter what _he_ is going through _himself_. It sometimes hit him hard. What actually happened to him and _his_ Doyoung hyung? Is he still his _Woojae_?

Jaehyun thinks it is all due to them growing as individuals who are more capable than what they were in the past and maybe their energies just doesn’t match like they did. They are becoming more successful which means more _fame_ , more money, more recognition and opportunities. Is Jaehyun satisfied with his reasoning? Nope.

He knows there is something missing, an element or puzzle pieces that he needs to find and put in the right place to see the clearer picture. And Jung Jaehyun is a man of his words and he will figure things out.

For Doyoung, he sees how Jaehyun has grown from a boy to a man he is now. Jaehyun is more confident now, he believes in himself more and Doyoung couldn’t be more proud at that. No longer there was a boy who would doubt himself despite having all the qualities, the talent and the passion. Naturally, he would be able to stand in the center without the shadows of his members, without his and shine by just being himself, Jung Jaehyun. Jaehyun has find his colour palette and Doyoung would not want to paint him grey. He wants Jaehyun to keep on making his own colour schemes.

The members noticed the change in their dynamics but none dares to intrude. Yet at least. It drives Haechan crazy, being the President of Jaedo nation and also Taeyong, being the leader. Don’t get them wrong, they aren’t hostile towards each other but there is this repelling force between them that none of them could put their heads on. A 180 degree change.

They still hangout, they still talk but it is just drastically different. Jaehyun couldn’t even look at Doyoung in the eyes longer than 2 seconds and Doyoung would nervously glance at Jaehyun to gauge his reactions towards what he says or do when they’re filming and it is driving him crazy. It’s driving all of them crazy.

Doyoung was sitting on his bed when his thoughts ran wild.

_How should I sing this part?_

_How should I do the adlibs for the songs?_

_Did I do my vocal warm ups enough?_

_Did I practice hard enough for the new song?_

_Am I good enough?_

“Hyung? We gotta go now” his thoughts broke as Haechan gestured towards him to hurry up because a mad manager hyung is not what they want to be facing right now. Doyoung hoisted himself up and ran to join the rest of the members who are already seated in the van. His eyes wander and his breath hitched in his throat as the only vacant seat was beside him. _Jaehyun_

Jaehyun looked up and gave Doyoung a small smile and Doyoung takes that as it is okay to sit beside him. And that he did. Their arms brushed as Doyoung took a seat and his heart dropped a little at that. He carefully and trying his best not to be obvious as he moved his body a little to the right to create some distance between them.

Throughout the car ride, all the members have fallen asleep due to late night practice for their upcoming comeback. Back in the days, either Jaehyun or Doyoung would lean against the other’s shoulder to sleep. But right now, both of them had their heads hanging to the front, neck pain surely to emerge soon. Doyoung subconsciously tries his very best to not let his head move to the left, afraid he would end up leaning against the younger boy’s shoulder. He could feel the frustration building in his body because he is so fucking exhausted and he just wants to sleep in peace but his head, his stupid head decides to be the captain today and orders that he be very cautious even in his sleep.

Doyoung absolutely hates to be walking on eggshells but there is so much that he can do. He finds himself developing this new habit of glancing at Jaehyun to gauge the other’s reaction at every single thing he does. It also made him feel pathetic when his heart drops at times when Jaehyun doesn’t react to his jokes or words. Doyoung was like a nervous mess and he hates that this further contributes to his detrimental mindset.

The memories of last night at Haechan’s Radio emerges. Jaehyun was staring at mainly Jungwoo and raises his brows mainly at Jungwoo to get the younger one to follow his chant, not a glance at Doyoung. Even when the three of them decided to do the chant together, Jaehyun’s line of sight was fixed towards Jungwoo even though he is sitting directly opposite of Doyoung.

Doyoung doesn’t really know what he did wrong. One day, it seems like they are normal and one day his whole world is suddenly upside down. Doyoung’s anxiety heightened, feeling more and more tired and restless as each day passes. He wants this predicament to end. But how do you end things when you don’t even know what the fuck is going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update took a while! Changed the flow of the chapters a little bit!
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!


	3. Chapter 3

Doyoung has always been the one to hype up the members, completely disagreeing when Haechan or Taeil thought that their voices didn’t suit Coming Home and reiterate by saying they have done well and they can do good in everything. Or when any of the members felt pressured to sing when asked to on variety show, he would be quick to say they can and they are doing great.

  
It sometimes bugs him when his nagging, blunt and honest side of him goes out of proportions and people seems to paint that image of him in every situation resulting in issues here and there. The members knows him as one of the most selfless person and he would literally take a bullet for people he cares about.

  
Haechan always seem to confide in Doyoung in regards to singing and they give honest and constructive feedbacks towards the other and Haechan is thankful Doyoung is always there no matter how much burden Doyoung is carrying himself and the fact that he is a worry wart. Haechan mentioned once that he is very grateful to Doyoung who always gave him feedback on his singing and he knows, Doyoung simply wants the best for everyone.

  
Maybe it was the stress of preparing for their new album and also the numerous concerts and it is starting to get to the members. Fights or ‘disagreement’ becomes very common but they all know deep down that each and every single one of them just wants the best for the team. For the fans.  
There is a rule between the members that every single opinion each member have are entitled to be heard and they must respect them even though disagreements might rise.

  
The members were gathered in the recording studio to record their new songs for the new album.

  
Doyoung was scanning through the lyrics for White Night and begins to jot down to indicate the parts he will be singing and thinks on how he wants to project his voice into the song while listening to the instrumental. He could feel himself starting to get a little bit restless and this doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaehyun. Jaehyun knows that White Night means a lot to both him and Doyoung as their first impression of the song when it was played to them the first time was so strong. Jaehyun smiled at the thought and thinks

“Guess even after all these years, we still have the same taste”

  
“Jaehyun why don’t you start first with White Night” instructed their vocal coach and Jaehyun’s thoughts came to a halt as he walks in straight into the recording booth. Feeling quite nervous himself, he took a deep breath and did some light warm up before he starts.

  
“Can you record that again? Overall it’s good but there is just something lacking” Jaehyun nods at the remark by the producer and took a deep breath. Weird. Jung Jaehyun feeling nervous? Quite rare. You see, Jaehyun is good at singing, his voice gosh it’s so soothing yet _so so sexy_.

Just like the man himself. Godlike sculpture. And each day, and each comeback, he becomes more self-conscious with his singing and wants to focus more on it than dancing, something everybody knows Jaehyun is super damn good at. The way his body moves when he dances is just a feast to the eyes. There’s just something about the way Jaehyun dances, he owns the steps and it is so satisfying to see. And _sexy, super super sexy_.

  
“Just one more take and we’ll move on from there” Feeling a little frustrated at the constant re-recording, Jaehyun tries his best to record the last adlib of the song and requested to hear the playback. “Hyung, can I record this again?” he asked, annoyance starting to fill his head, at himself. “Let’s take 5 Jae.”

  
Jaehyun walked out of the booth feeling quite angry that the recording didn’t go as well as he anticipated especially since this is his favourite song in the whole album. As he was walking out of the booth, Jaehyun heard what he could make out to be Doyoung and Haechan discussing about the song.

  
“Hyung, what do you think about this part right after the last chorus?” Haechan asked, a pen in hand and creases forming on his forehead.

  
“Your voice certainly stands out beautifully so I think maybe you should end the note with a softer approach to blend in and harmonise with the background music and vocals” Doyoung uttered, looking at Haechan, eyes seeking approval.

  
“Aite I’ll give it a try once I’m in the booth. Thanks Hyung you are the best even though you are Kim Doyoung”

  
“Hey what’s wrong with being Kim Doyoung brat” Doyoung jokingly rolled his eyes at Haechan and Haechan stick his tongue out before walking towards Taeil, his favourite hyung. Haechan and Doyoung’s relationship is what people would say the reality between brothers kind of relationship. They bicker and joke around a lot, but they care a lot about the other and would protect each other no matter what.

  
Haechan mentioned once that he is very grateful to Doyoung who always gave him feedback on his singing and he knows, Doyoung simply wants the best for everyone. And Jaehyun wishes he would do it to him as often as he does to Haechan.

  
Turning his head around, Doyoung could hear a loud plop beside him and he was met with Jaehyun with his head in his hands, a very obvious sign of frustration. In that split second, Doyoung was met with another crisis and that is to whether ask Jaehyun if he is okay but thing is he knows he isn’t but it doesn’t hurt to ask right? To show Jaehyun that he cares and worried.

  
“Hey Jae, how was it? Are you okay?” Doyoung asked cautiously, and a million scenes of how this would turn out flashes in his mind. _Damn, I really need a paracetamol_ he thinks. 

Jaehyun could be heard breathing out a super loud sigh before lifting his hands of his head and looked up to meet Doyoung’s worried gaze.

“I don’t know hyung, I just- I can’t seem to be doing anything right today. I’ve been re-recording for god knows how long and I just want to be able to record it perfectly” he muttered and Doyoung’s heart seems to hurt at the younger’s frustration.

  
“I know how you feel Jae and I know by saying I could relate to the frustration won’t make you feel better but know that I am here for you okay? Take a deep breath and try to clear your mind and don’t put too much pressure at yourself. All these expectations you impose on yourself can really affect you, all these lines you draw around you can also make you trip”

 _Ironic_ Doyoung thinks. How those words came out so easily when it comes to those he cares about and he can’t even swallow those words and imprint them into his own head. He scoffs mentally at himself. Jaehyun gave Doyoung a smile, dimples barely visible but he just wants the older to know that he acknowledges his words. “Which part are you not satisfied at Jae?” questioned Doyoung and there’s something that’s changed about his gaze. It’s filled with seriousness, sincerity and definitely passion. His eyes were full of passion and that is how Doyoung is especially when it comes to singing.

  
Jaehyun is sometimes envious at the way Doyoung can sing beautifully and so so effortlessly. Any song given to Doyoung seems so facile and Jaehyun loves the way that it felt like Doyoung is whispering in your ear when he sings. Oh the sound of heaven. Doyoung is undeniably an angel. Doyoung may think that he’s just black and white, dull and boring but to Jaehyun he’s a breath of fresh air. Especially when he sings, his whole world just shifts into paradise.

  
“It’s okay if you don’t feel like sharing em Jae, I understand” Doyoung smiled before entering the recording booth and a speechless Jaehyun was sitting, wondering how long he must have been silent.

  
_It’s not that I don’t want to I just am feeling so self-conscious about it and it’s tough when you’re constantly on the spotlight_

  
His thoughts were interrupted by the melodious lyrics of White Night, sang by none other than Kim Doyoung himself. Jaehyun feels goosebumps engulfing his body and he could feel his eyelids shutting and ears slowly filled by his favourite voice, and for a while Jaehyun feels at peace, he feels calm, he feels like he’s floating. Doyoung’s voice have this effect on him. It feels like the world around him has stopped and he’s there floating, so high and euphoric.

  
Jaehyun could feel his frustration dissipate to be replaced by admiration and longing for this man with a voice of an angel. He misses him. He misses them. Thing is there aren’t any hostility between them but there is just some kind of void that just emerged out of nowhere? It would be a lie if Jaehyun said he doesn’t notice that Doyoung has been walking on eggshells around him and fuck he wonders what did he do that cause the older to be that way.

  
The door to the recording booth opened to the man himself walking out with a smile on his face and a hand brushing his hair out of his face. Damn. He looks so ethereal Jaehyun could feel his heart did a little squeeze. “Good job Doyoung. As expected from you” Doyoung beamed at that and Haechan shot his hyung a wink and patted his back. Jaehyun is happy too cause god this man right here deserves the recognition for his efforts and especially for his talent. Everybody knows Doyoung is the member who is the most worried about how he wants to present his voice in each of their songs, how to project his voice for their beloved fans.

  
“Jae let’s continue and wrap up”

  
His heart started to tingle and he got up and enter the recording booth. Taking a deep breath and replaying the advice Doyoung gave him in his head, Jaehyun slowly started to relax and begun singing.The recording went smoother than he expected especially after the frustrating first session. Jaehyun makes a mental note to thank Doyoung and talk things out with his hyung. As he thanked the producers for their hardwork, he could see Doyoung discussing the song with both Taeyong and Mark.

_How I wish he would with me too_

  
He shook his head and threw the thought away. He is an independent man and he doesn’t really need help. He’s the _Jung Jaehyun_. He doesn’t like to lose and he definitely dislike relying too much on someone or burden them, whichever way people like to view it as.

  
_Hold up, am I jealous?_

  
_No you’re not, you just had a long day._

  
_But I need to talk to him about things but he’s apparently very occupied for everyone else but me._

  
_Now’s not the time to be a dick Jung._

  
Jaehyun gave his forehead a slap to stop the stupid voices in his head.

  
“Jae? Are you okay?” asked the leader and Doyoung and Mark looked at him with both concerned and surprised look. Great what a time to be an idiot infront of everybody.  
“You sure? Did the recording went well? Do you need help? Want any feedback?” Doyoung asked as he fixed his gaze towards the younger.Jaehyun froze for a second before shaking his head. “No it’s okay hyung”

  
Unconvinced, Doyoung decided to pester the younger again, and deep down he hopes Jaehyun would be as honest and forward as he was like back then.

“Are you sure? I’m sure I can help you. Come and join us” gestured Doyoung.

You see, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this situation yeah? But with his head pounding, and his body heavy, Jaehyun feels some kind of fire slowly simmering inside him. He wishes he had more control over his mouth cause –

  
“No I don’t need your help. I know what I’m doing, I especially know what the fans want best”

  
Silence filled the room and fuck he needs to know how to have a better judgment because the next thing he said in hopes to ease the situation as a joke didn’t quite help.  
“I’m Jung Jaehyun and I’m the most famous one” chuckled Jaehyun but that didn’t last long. The look on Doyoung’s face was indescribable, and this is when he knows he messed up. Real bad.

  
“Dangggg hyung. Dude you’re so funny” uttered Mark nervously, eyes moving back and forth between Doyoung, Taeyong and Jaehyun.

  
“I need to record the background vocals for the songs. Goodluck guys on the recording. Fighting” And with a flash, Doyoung sprinted into the recording booth.

  
“What the fuck was that Jung?” Taeyong asked angrily and an angry Lee Taeyong is one scary creature.“Did you really have to? He was just trying to help and for fucks sake you out of all people knows that but the heck did you have to say that?”

  
“I don’t know! It just- it just slipped out of my mouth. This recording for White Night was just so frustrating and –

  
“Doesn’t give you the right to be an ass about it Jae. Leave, go and take a rest and clear your mind”

  
Doyoung could feel his heart aching so much. He knows he shouldn’t look into it too much cause Jaehyun could just be joking right? But considering how hot and cold he is to him, Doyoung concludes that he is hurt by it. Guess Taeyong was right, he is made of glass afterall. He scoffed at that and wallows deeper in sorrow. That night, Doyoung didn’t have a wink of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where it all unravels! Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	4. Distance

Doyoung woke up with a groan and memories of the previous day seems to hit him like a truck.

_I do realize that Jae is the most famous one in the group and fuck do I feel even smaller now that he seems to think that my opinions are invalid. Hah Kim Doyoung you should know how to stay in your lane. You’re nothing without the members_

Taking a deep breath, Doyoung got up to wash up before heading to the kitchen for breakfast.

“Hey Doyoung, are you okay?”

“Hey Tae. Never better haha. Why do you ask?”

Taeyong gave Doyoung a look before sighing. “Come on, you can tell me everything bud. It’s alright to let things out once in a while you know? Well in your case, it should finally be the time you stop being an idiot and let things out to people Do”

“It’s not healthy and I don’t want to see you handling things all by yourself any longer. Even with everything that you’re going through, you still made sure to help the members, help me. So Doyoung, now I want to help you”

Glancing up at his bestfriend, Doyoung feels warmth engulfing his body and his eyes. Wait - his eyes. Tears are glistening and it took him all the strength he had that morning to blink it away. “Thanks Tae. I’m just taken aback I think. I mean I know – we all know what Jae is but I can’t seem to not feel hurt by it you know? He probably doesn’t mean it but whatever it is what he said were facts”

“What do you mean?” Puzzled, Taeyong gestured Doyoung to continue. “I mean like he doesn’t need my help cause he knows better, he knows what fans want and my points are just invalid” finishes Doyoung. “What was I even thinking” continues Doyoung as he sips his coffee. Coffee? Odd, it doesn’t even taste as bitter as what he is currently feeling inside.

“I’m sure Jae doesn’t mean it even though I admit he was being a big douche. And Doyoung, don’t look down on yourself like that. You’re very talented and have you heard yourself sing?! On top of that, you’re willing to go through so much hassle to help the members especially the ballad tracks in the album when you yourself have so much on your shoulders” expressed Taeyong frustratedly.

“You’re like - I don’t know recording 4?” “5” interrupted Doyoung because accuracy matters, “Yes 5 background vocals on top of everything you have on your plate now” “Thanks Tae. I really needed that. But can we continue this some other time? I really am not up to drown myself in this incident” Taeyong rolled his eyes but gave his friend a nod anyways. “But wait. What’s really going on with you and Jae? Did you guys somehow fight or-“

“No we didn’t. I am too curious and add the incident yesterday to this animosity, I am feeling really overwhelmed. Maybe –“ Doyoung stopped midway and shook his head, mumbling it’s nothing before Taeyong seems to understand what he was trying to say.

“Maybe you’re right, whatever that is you’re thinking. Maybe he did let fame get into his head” finishes Taeyong and Doyoung felt his breath hitched and his heart drop. Every cell in his body tries to come up with a denial but replaying each and every non-existent ‘interaction’ between them, Doyoung feels kind of convinced with the leader’s words. Doyoung gave Taeyong a look of worry before bidding him goodbye.

Doyoung was in deep thoughts that he didn’t realize that he is already right in front of the studio. Just as he was about to reach for the handle to the door, the producer got to it first. “Oh hey Doyoung, ready for the recording?” smiled the producer and he gave Doyoung a pat on the back. I deserve that he thinks and he could feel a smile making its way to his face. “Yes hyung! I’m more ready than ever!” beamed Doyoung resulting in laughter between the two. “Is anybody in there?” asked Doyoung as shuffles and muffled voices can be heard from where he is.

“Yes, Jaehyun is in. I think he is almost done, why don’t you go and wait inside?”

“Ah hyung, I’ll be right back. I’ve forgotten something back in the dorm.” answered Doyoung swiftly and he took the nod from the producer as an okay sign before dashing off. Never has he felt an extremely great need to avoid the younger man but as of right now, he needs it. He wants to. Insecurity has been befriending him too well these days and to be honest, Doyoung is just tired. He opens the door to one of the empty practice rooms and settled on the floor before taking out his airpods. Hah the airpods that he and Jaehyun bought together when they were in the States.

“Kim Doyoung, you need to focus. There are more important things that needs your devoted attention” expressed Doyoung and he gave himself a soft slap on each side of his face before beginning to rehearse for the songs that he has stacked up to record for.

“Hyung? Are the members outside?” Jaehyun asked as he saw the producer entering the studio, taking off the headphones and walking out of the recording booth. “Doyoungie was outside but he left right away” chuckled the producer. “He left something and is going back to the dorm to get it. It’s fine though, Doyoung has been doing a really good job”

Jaehyun couldn’t help but feel guilt creeping inside him. First of all, Doyoung is not the type to forget things especially when it comes to important things like a recording session. Second, he is definitely not the type to delay sessions, heck he wouldn’t even dare to even ask for a delay. Third, all of these are all my _own fault_. _What the heck was I thinking?_

Jaehyun walked out of the studio mindlessly and decided maybe he wants to walk around the building before going back to the dorm. His footsteps came to a halt when he heard that voice. His voice.

_Hold on_

_Is that some muffling and sobs he heard?_

Curious, Jaehyun peeked through the cracks of the door and his heart broke at the sight. Doyoung was singing. And crying. Jaehyun could feel his stomach turn at the way Doyoung was obviously trying hard to suppress his crying and still manage to sing effortlessly beautiful. Panic engulfs Jaehyun as Doyoung was packing his things after receiving what he could make out as a text. He quickly sprinted away from the practice room and let his feet take him away from Doyoung.

_I’m sorry hyung. I’ll make it up to you and we’re going to talk about this thing_


End file.
